Currently Listening Beer, Bait and Ammo By Kevin Fowler Hellbent for a Heartache see related

So he did make me smile more than the trip.  The memory of him always will.  But it's done, over finished, time to move on.  Tried, but can't seem to quite get there.  I thought being with someone new would be so exciting and erase those feelings - but it didn't, just made them stand out more.  What can you do though right?

Another year in the Fightin' Texas Aggie Cadet Corps - where every day is a holiday, and every meal is a banquet, and all the upperclassmen treat you like a sister.  haha.   SO FREAKING BUSY!!  I become less and less involved with friends and extra curriculars so that I can focus on my studies, but I can't just because so much outfit stuff pops up!  Not that I'm totally complaining since I love it, but really, breathing room might help.  Or not, since it's helped distract me...  I'm so much closer to my buddies this year which has helped a lot.  The control freaks went staff and the jerks are distracted with outside the outfit activities, so it leaves a small group of us that have a lot more in common deep down than we all thought.  =)

Well off to church!  Mwah

Currently Listening Timbaland Presents Shock Value By Timbaland "Give It to Me" see related

haha, sooo just kidding!  Well, it sucks cause it won't be perfect for a lil longer.    but we know why.  Not speaking to someone though does NOT help the heart I have to tell you that much!  I'm really blessed.  I just need to focus on the many other things in life.  haha, really though, I'm so thrilled.  I'm going on an amaaaazing spring break!!  But he makes me smile more than the thought of the trip!  haha, Thank the Lord for His goodness.  Now if I can just start kicking some serious REAR in my classes, this will be an AMAZING semester ~

I pray that everyone else's is just as great!!

Currently Listening Taylor Swift By Taylor Swift "Teardrops on My Guitar" see related

Wow, another year has come and gone.

There doesn't seem to have been a more life-changing year.

But that's besides the point.  The point is that I'm heart-broken.  For the first time in a looooooong time.
I don't know how to cope?

This is not kosher.

Currently Listening MMHMM By Relient K see related

And I'm good, good, good to go
I got to get away
Get away from all of my mistakes
 
...
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

[chorus]
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what is my best defense is
Cause I know that I let you down
And I don't want to deal with that

It just hit me this is more then just a set back
And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn't get that
And every trace of momentum is gone
And this isn't turning out the way I want

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

[chorus]

And I spent all last night
Tearing down
Now I think there might
Be no way to stop me now
I'll get away despite
The fact I'm so weighed down

All of my escapes have been exhausted
I thought I had a way but then I lost it
And my resistance was once much stronger
And I know I can't go on like this much longer

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my beath 
Oh God, oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you

And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what is my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Cause I know that I let you down
And I don't want to deal with that